About

Fernando Giannotti is a writer, economist, and comedian from Dayton, Ohio. He is a member of the comedy troupe '5 Barely Employable Guys.' He holds a B.A. in Economics and History and an M.S. in Finance from Vanderbilt University as well as a B.A. in the Liberal Arts from Hauss College. A self-labeled doctor of cryptozoology, he continues to live the gonzo-transcendentalist lifestyle and strives to live an examined life.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Gonzo Notes - Fear and Loathing on the Trail to SXSW and Back Again 2014

Fear and Loathing on the Trail to SXSW and back again - Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, Texas, and Back  

-there has been fog and often thick fog the entire way to Memphis so far.
-not a good sign all ready.  Two thirds the way to Memphis from Nashville and am already seeing shadows and objects that aren't there.  It was inevitable that this would happen, just alarming that its happening so soon.  Where will this end for me?  Does everything finally come home to roost?  A vicious rapture of retribution?  Pulling all my insecurities towards the heavens for all to judge, torturing me until they are violently hurdled back towards my heart, killing me with a calm, laughing, hissing demeanor my fears and insecurities.  I've killed myself, abandoned self restraint in the name of experiencing the real, unadulterated, authentic life, consumed myself, death would be a release, a cowardly selfish shift of blame.  46 miles to Memphis.
-in Memphis, saw what looks like a chain restaurant called Danver's.  Do beavers frequent this establishment?  Do beavers own this establishment?  Did a gregarious beaver named Dan start this restaurant and then franchise it out to other beavers?  What is Dan's disposition?  His philosophical outlook on life and profit motive?  Does he support Obamacare?  Who is this beaver?  Must we find him?
-at my friends beautiful home in Memphis.  I'm sitting at the gated entrance of his home, which is impressive because I am already inside a gated community.  Its quote large and ornate.  Luxurious.  Imposing. 
-went to the Germantown Commissary for diner.  Had pulled pork and ribs with BBQ beans tea and banana pudding.  Quite delicious

-had the peculiar experience of getting locked in a house and searching for a way out.  The good Mrs. Underwood let me out.
-about 20 miles into Arkansas, and I can honestly say the roads suck.  So many potholes and general dilapidation.  Arkansas you don't disappoint.
-just passed two semi trucks with large loads off the side of the highway, both in the median.  The were a few miles apart.  And just as I'm writing this saw a red Chevy impala in the median.  There is small amounts of snow on the ground, maybe that's throwing everyone off.  Or these shit roads.
-I haven't seen a single speed limit sign in Arkansas yet.  Are people here that illiterate? 
-just sitting on the highway down to one lane.  Parked on the highway because of routine construction.  Fuck you Arkansas.  You make the routine and minor into the excruciatingly incompetent.  Fuck you Arkansas.
-Just saw a billboard off the side of the highway congratulating attractive blonde girl who is dressed in beauty pageant atire, crown and sash.  The sign was congratulating her an East Arkansas Community College graduate, who later became a Princeton scholar.
-one of the interesting things about traveling through more rural areas, you see more people with flip phones.
-eating lunch in little rock at the whole hog cafe.  Got beef brisket, pulled pork, and beans.  They have six kinds of BBQ sauce.  I'm trying the volcano sauce, you have to ask for it special from then counter.  People who work here are all friendly.  The volcano is very hit, but a hot spicy.  Very good.
-Can't really judge a place until you've been there.  Just now leaving Little Rock Arkansas. Neat little city. Bigger more organized and cleaner than I thought it would be. It's a nice little city. You could live there and do alright. Much more modern I thought it would be. Very clean. Little Rock Arkansas.
-somewhat unusual, just passed a rest area with entry access lane from the left side of the highway.
-just saw a mile marker sign, Friendship, AR, 8 miles.  What a nice state, minus the Klan. 
-cool city/town names in Arkansas.  Arkadelphia and Texarkana.
-Arkansas from the highway is beautiful.  With the sun hitting the pine trees and the red needles at their base.  Really lovely.
-75 miles an hour limit in Texas.
-saw someone carved their name and Dayton Ohio in the clear plastic toilet paper dispenser in a men's bathroom stall at a love's gas station a few miles into Texas from Arkansas.
-ate at Rustic in Dallas with a friend.  Had skirt steak.  They had a wall of beer cans that made the American flag.
-ate at mama's daughters' dinner in Dallas.  Ordering the Texas sized breakfast with chicken fried steak.  Also tried a strawberry cream fried pie.  They seat you kind of family style anywhere there is an open seat.  I'm sitting between two people with 5 different party's of people at my table made for 8.  Plus in the seat to my right an elderly black lady's phone went off and her ringtone was blurred lines by Robin thicke.
-Texas so far is really nice. Most everything is new. Much newer than anything in Ohio. By that I mean any of the 3 big cities in Ohio. Dallas is really big. Less traffic than Atlanta. Quite a nice place. Lots of restaurants. Kind of southern the with the way guys and girls dress. I could live there.
-just saw two wild dogs running by the side of the road
-passed a billboard for 'buc'ees' wall of candy.  It had a cartoon beaver with buck teeth and a red hat.
-Austin is pretty cool.  Sick Nightlife. 
-at a party a guy gave me some condoms coated with Astro glide.
-went to torchy's tacos.  Got a trailer park, crossroads, and fried avocado tacos.  Tried an Austin brand soda, Maine root - vanilla cream.
-went to SXSW Deloitte booth and saw all the 3D printing.  They printed peoples’ busts.  The cheapest ones are $1299
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-at SXSW gaming expo.
-saw a cheesecakery food truck
-not sure what is happening right now.  At swan dive, Russian polka is playing and people are dancing like they are peyote.  DJ Happy Happy James.  Feel like I'm at a psychedelic  flapper party.  Girl with random whoolohoop dancing.  Now he's playing dub step psychedelic Russian poka, base is dropping.  Now he's playing a modified version of the soggy bottom boys with techno.  The DJ then played an edm version of big rock candy mountain.  Saw a guy wearing google glass, recording everything and everyone, what a dousch.  The DJ is unique, perfect, all around swell.
-at flamingo, Reggie edm playing right now.
-went to Shakespeare's.
-Trudy's texmex
-went to llamas Peruvian Creole food truck.  Tried Inca cola.
-played battle boxing bots.  I won.  Pretty sick.  So many random things to do at SXSW.
-saw moon houch on the street
-parked in the 7th floor of the st. Davids episcopal church garage.  On 9th.
-ate at roppopplos pizza. 
-interesting, everyone in line in front of me is sitting down and everyone after me is standing up.  I'm standing up.  Not a single person standing in front of me and not a single one behind me.  Hmmm?  Do people imitate each other?  Socialized to conformity.  What dies that say about me then?
-"rehearsals are for pussys.  Two takes then you're done." - Robert Duvall.
-I've noticed a lot of blind people at SXSW and Austin.
-ate at Stubb's BBQ in austin.  Had a beef brisket taco and a pulled pork taco with original stubb's sauce.  Despite the bottle, no black guys working there at all.  Only Hispanic girls. 
-went to 'open windows' at the Alamo Ritz theatre.  They have an ordering system where you can order food, drinks, and alcohol during the show.  Not bad.  Interesting experience.
-stole some posters off of the pillars by the convention center. 
-went to P Terry's burger stand.  Some people hoped in a random car 2 go and the people driving the car gave them a ride.  How Austin?  Ordered a cheeseburger, chicken burger, fries, peanut butter milkshake, and an ice tea.
-Casey neistat is so raw, very genuine.  Not worried about what people think, uses a great deal of profanity.  Openly acknowledges what he doesn't know.  Don't want to bother him for a picture.  Don't want to turn him into an object or trophy.  He talked about his studio and how he organizes it so that way he doesn't have to stop making a movie.  He talked about the importance of starting something, even if the idea isn't completely flushed out, get the rock filmed and mold it in the studio.  Sculpt what you have into what you want.  His make it count video didn't have that many ideas.  The running segment was done in editing.
-interesting, at the q and a for Kumiko the Treasure Hunter.  People are asking questions about the meaning of each scene and the film makers have just said it felt right.  They didn't have a well thought out reason, maybe no big reason at all.  Interesting, maybe we're reading in to things too much.
-Eating at the magnolia cafe by the lake.  Ordered two fish tacos,  chicken and egg, queso, peanut butter pie, mocha coffee, and unsweetened lemonade.  Really cool place.
-hanging out at 2am at the peddle cab hub/garage/junkyard.  They have boxing gloves.
-the room of the guy I'm staying in, has a used rude of astro-glide on his desk.  Hmmmm....
-went to gourdough's big fat donuts.  Ordered the Mother clucker, flying pig, mama's cakes, blue balls, baby rattler donuts and coffee and water. Pretty cool place.  Its in an old airstream trailer.  Their menu has to be the most unique menu I've seen at a donut shop.  Cool mix of people, Mexicans, hipsters, and blond sorority girls.  They are playing some soft romantic music, a more Mello Rick ashtly kind of mix.
- out kayaking in Austin.  A spectacular duck has been following me in the water.  He is primarily white with black feathers on his body.  He has shiny green feathers on his back that radiate in the sun.  He has a red head kind of like a chicken or turkey.  Incredible as I write this and float.  When my boat turned, he followed like a dog.  Its crazy being here in Austin, in Texas.  I remember being a kid in my backyard in Ohio looking up at the blue summer sky and seeing planes land and take off, imagining what Texas would be like.  Its actually in a weird way that only a general feeling or notion can express, what I imagined.
-saw 'wild canaries'.  Sat next to an Australian girl.  The movie was the premier.  It was really funny.
-waiting to see the orwells at cheer up charlies, they were cancelled because some car hit some people outside on the street.  The police are asking everyone to leave, said we were part of a crime scene.  A car came barreling through at 40 miles per hour and around 25 people.  Shit.  Stayed to talk with some people.  Seems like people needed to express themselves.
-eating at Kirby lane cafe now.  They have gluten free pancakes.
-at the Gatsby on 6th st.  Pandora is sponsoring it with American hustle, inside Llewellyn Davis, st. Ives and others.  Giving away free sunglasses.  Pretty cool
-been observing crowd dynamics this week.  Girls must have to listen to so much nonsense and posturing from guys.  So many guys trying to sound interesting but end up talking bombastically about nothing interesting, but you can see girls going along with it.  Pretending to be learning about whatever the guy is explaining to her,  even though they know what it is already.  Or pretending to be interested in the unoriginal opinion the guy is telling her.  They almost have to pump up the guys.
-just went to see future islands.  Insane.  May rival mutemath in terms of best concerts I've been too.  Got to shake hands, hug him, and he touched heads with me while singing.  Fucking awesome.  People were up on stage.  I ended up on stage.  So much pushing.  Incredible.
-in line at John Mueller's meat co in Austin Texas.  Its a food truck.  Really cool downhome backyard atmosphere.  I'm getting the brisket.
-at the cherrywood coffee house.  Trying a kombucha lime soda, ginger tea, orange juice and an orange.  I've come down with a bit of a cold being outside the night of the car crash without a jacket.  Try to maintain.  Hold out until Sunday afternoon.  Got to maintain.
-American authors have taken 40 minutes to come on.  Sound problems, there have been sound problems throughout SXSW.  Third band that I have seen that has sound problems.
-well American authors only played three songs.  Great.
-the female frontgirl for London grammar has an incredible voice.  She's also really hot in a classical way.
-Sam smith's concert is in a church.  St. Davids episcopal church.  Interesting SXSW, interesting choice of venue.
-Saw a really fat women dressed as a panda at Vance joy in st. Davids.  Black shirt, white sweater, panda rap around hat
-chancellor Warhol played to a small but very passionate audience.  At the end, I got to shake his hand.  Meet Scotty the kid, rapper from la, st Warhol's showcase.  He is really good friends with Warhol's keyboard guy.
-went to a tinder and Pandora party.
-so many people peddling their demos to people.  So many handed out.  One can see all these cds in the streets with the rest of the rubbish, litter. 
-someone just asked me where some SXSW Thing was.  That's the third or fourth person.  Does nerdy white guy with glassed scream memorizes the map?  He probably knows all the technical details?  Stereotyping, tisk tisk.  It would be cool if it was fit girls asking, but sadly no.  Have I become a festival insider?  Has my carefully crafted persona worked?  Nobody really knows what they are doing, only acting.  Where's my Oscar? 
-at the Gatsby again, the portable toilets have hand sanitizing dispensers inside. A pleasant surprise.
-while charging my phone at Gatsby, I heard little daylight.  They were great live.  Great surprise.
-sitting at cherrywood coffee house, watching a hipster stair pensively through a window contemplating his hand written poems.
-bought Texas flag board shorts at Tyler's.
-eating at salty sow.  Had beef shoulder.  And triple fried duck fat fries.
-at the magnolia café again.  Talked to the waiter, he us waiting tables while he writes his book, which is almost finished.  He moved to Mexico in 2008.  Pretty cool.
-just finished eating at the magnolia café.  It was so good.  I didn't realize how much food I ate.  I'm in pain.  Belly swollen, I feel miserable, it was so good though.  Why did I eat that much?  Fuck me.
-I'm driving on a rural dirt road in central Texas, towards Lockhart. Lots of rusty oil wells/pumps pumping away.
-tying to find black's BBQ in Lockhart Texas.  Crazy town with fun down hoovervilleesque homes, some with expensive boats in the back.  Completely esoteric.  Seems built only for those in the know, towns people.  Good way to keep out and confuse outsiders, me.
-finally found black's BBQ in Lockhart, Texas.  Bought brisket and sausage, and BBQ sauce.  They gave me a tour of their smoker with two Germans who had set up a BBQ restaurant in Germany.  They we're going all over Texas on a BBQ tour of Texas.  Nice guys, complained about the lack of quality meat in Europe.   great place.  Apparently Lockhart is the BBQ capital of the us and Texas.
-I've spotted the beaver again!  Buc-ee the beaver.  He owns a store and gas station.  Going in to investigate.
-wow, I mean wow, my mind has been blown.  Buc-ee's is incredible.  A Willy wonkas factory for roadside stores.  They have Texas apparel, regular apparel, sporting goods(fishing, duck hunting, etc), a Texas meat station, grocery, multiple food stations, and a buc-ee's memorabilia store that has their adorable beaver in stuffed animals, t-shirts, tanks' magnets, stickers, lapel pins, hats, and so much more.  I bought a few.  And the bathroom, hands down the best public restroom I've come across by a highway.  Immaculately clean.  Individual alcoves for urinals, individual alcoves with thick doors for toilets, I mean these were not stalls, but more permanent and better.  Lone stars decorated the walls individually.  More than ample amounts of sinks with fully stocked, clean automatically dispensing soap and two automatic paper towl dispensers per sink.  No lines.  A model of cleaness and efficiency.  The American dream is alive and well in Texas, it has inhabited the form of a disarmingly wily beaver.  This beaver is it, he is the 21st century pioneer.  We must import and support more beavers if we are to catch the Chinese.  Buc-ee's incredible.
-The drive from Austin to Houston isn't that bad.  There are lots of exits in mostly cows and farmland.  A lot of trees comparatively to Kansas, but not like ohio or another Midwestern state.  A few Palm trees but very sparingly. Some decent farmland. Not exactly heavily populated, but a far cry from nothing is well.
-Houston is massive.  Also there are no zoning laws in Houston.  So I saw a store that only sells light bulbs, a sex toy and clothing shop, burger king, Thai  restaurant, jewelry store, upscale apartment complex, and the most exclusive restaurant in Houston all next to each other.
-went to anvil in Houston got a Boston flip, rye whisky an egg and cinnamon.  It was incredibly delicious.
-eating outside at a coffee/restaurant in Houston called Brazil.  Pretty cool paintings they have on the walls.  One is of Lyndon Johnson, probably pre Vietnam because he's happy and unstressed in the picture.  Pretty upscale hipster. 
-ar Galveston island state park right now.  Its absolutely beautiful.  Galveston island in general is very commercialized.  The beaches aren't like the panhandle of Florida, but they are nice enough.  If I lived in Houston, I would have to buy a home here to escape the city.  It would be great to get away for the weekend.  Beautiful on the island.  In march its not too hot either, a little chilly with the wind actually.  You can have camp fires in Galveston island state park.
-being out here in Galveston island state park reminds me of Charleston falls in Ohio.  In a metaphysical notion/feeling/emotion kind of way.  The birds here have the same cadence that they do in Charleston falls.  Unifying nature.  The birds churning and water among the estuaries here takes me back.
-I'm walking the beach of Galveston island state park and am seeing a great deal of dead fish.  About one every ten feet.
-drove past a field of cows on Galveston island, not too far from a really commercialized area.  I guess you can't take the Texas out of a resort island. 
-I'm at a route 66 gas station on Galveston island.  The gas pump is by far and away the slowest I have ever encountered.  Its been 7 minutes and its pumped 2.2 gallons.  Come on.  And further more I'm nowhere near route 66.  Get it together.
-I keep getting lost in the giant maze of an apartment complex that my friend lives in.  The hall ways all look the same and their are no signs other than a few exit lamps.  Its dizzying.  Metaphor for Houston.
-just saw a dead beaver on the side of the road.  Miles inland in Texas.
-in Brazos bend state park.  Trying to find alligators.  I'm really jumpy.  At elm lake so many birds making calls, making sudden movements.  I'm on high alert.  I'm not as fast as I use to be.
-I'm currently driving North from Houston imports Dallas.  Traffic has been unpleasant but not terrible.  Four lanes going each way.  Driving about 15 miles per hour right now.  That was picking up to normal speed. The traffic in Houston entire time I've been here really hasn't been that bad, relative to what I thought it would be.
-I've been driving for half an hour on 45 North towards Dallas.  I haven't been able to go about 50 miles per hour on the highway so far.   Just alternating between points of stoppage/ traveling less than 20 miles per hour and a few small patches where one can go 40 miles per hour for a limited amount of time. Maybe this is what the traffic in Houston is supposed to be about. I can't believe its this congested with cars this far outside the city. They need more lanes.
-The Houston area of Texas looks a bit like Florida. Similar trees. Palm trees but not as many as down in Florida. Similar humid climates.  Although the human development in the Houston area of Texas more closely resembles Southern California.  A bit like Los Angeles in Florida, but more concise and as they packed than Los Angeles. And friendlier. But interesting place.
-just passed a huge white statue by the highway.  Probably of Sam Houston.  Looked like it was made of paper Mache.
-So far the drive from Houston to Dallas has been very green.  Green grass lots of green trees. Map of thick trees you find in Ohio in the Midwest. But taller thinner dry trees. But lots of green tree is the nonetheless.
-Just saw an interesting billboard by the side of the highway.  It was a comic book style cartoon scene.  With a woman gas thing in fear, sang real Texas burger.  And a cowboy looking on at her, saying Nolan Ryan beef.
-Just passed a highway overpass. Sitting on a barricade underneath the overpass. Was a guy just seem to be hanging out.  Dangling his feet over the barricade watching the cars go by. Blue jeans white blue jeans, Brown orange T shirts, baseball cap.  What was he contemplating?  Why was that spot the best spot for him? Does he enjoy the thrill being close to danger? Is the border discontent this rule Texas life? Does he want to go faster? Is this why he puts himself so close the car is traveling at 75 miles per hour? So close to speed and little are the edge, of the highway.  I wonder if being in this position heightens his senses, and perhaps put it in a better state to think.  Or to think in a more time sensitive saving way.  What is in store for this man? 
-Listening to know nelo's 1st album.  So good.  Listening to it while driving across Texas their home state.  Driving from Houston where they were founded.  Very cool. 
-at the bird cafe in ft. Worth, Texas.  Eating out on the patio.  Quite nice, have a view of downtown ft. Worth.  Ordered the pumpkin and coconut soup.  Also ordered the one eyed jack which is Nueske's bacon, duroc pit ham, Tillamook cheddar, jalapeno cheddar bread, and a nested egg.  Also a carrot and root mash.
-ft. Worth is like a smaller, much less posh, fatter, whiter version of Dallas.  As if people have accepted their limitations and lot in life and have plateaued.  They are just going to keep doing the same basic lifestyle for the rest of their lives.  Has a religious community quality to it like people who justified their lack of success with religion and the poor/slave morality.  Its ok, because in their minds their lack of success is more religious.  And they keep Dallas close to remind them.  I've seen so many fat people in the bird café.  They are playing a southern female acoustic cover to bee gees songs here.  How deep is your love, interesting choice for a lunch time crowd.  The guy sitting across from me, is decked out in full investment banking attire.  Except for brown and red cowboy boots.  Goes well with the blue blazer and pocket square, pretty awesome.
-just walked past a brooding, downtrodden looking hipster eating alone at a cafe starring forlornly out the window wearing a knit cap even though its 75 degrees out, really hot.  Disillusionment with society seems to be universal across the US.  
-about an hour outside of Dallas, preparing to make the long, desperate sprint to Nashville.  Harboring a week long cold and four hours of sleep.  Let the fun begin.  Armed with a few political podcasts and 9 year old iPod, and the Arkansas scenery.  I'll try to enjoy the slow, inevitable descent over the edge.
-just stopped at a road runner gas station right inside Arkansas.  Pretty modern and clean.  Much better mascot than the big three.  They are playing fox news and extra in the screen at road runner.  Arkansas.  Road runner also has a kids section.  The elderly lady at the counter became frustrated and actually said "fiddle sticks."
.Just saw a billboard up the side of the highway.  It was for Worthington National Bank.  It said them Wall Street..... Us Main Street.
-I've just passed 3 separate semi trucks that were carrying several cars stopped at different intervals by the police.  Each one about a mile or 2 apart.  The police were checking the interior of the vehicles being carried by the semis.  Each of the drivers the semis looked Hispanic.  People smuggling on the road to Memphis? 






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